Easter Review: ‘The Real Easter Egg’
Evangelism is alive and well. Chocolatey, chocolatey evangelism.
Many of you may have noticed ‘The Real Easter Egg’ gracing our supermarket shelves, adorned with the promise of telling the ‘true’ story of Easter. Not to mention the proclamation of ‘charity’ plastered all over the packaging. Ever wondered what it’s all about? Probably not. But I’m going to save you the £3.00 and tell you anyway. You’re welcome.
Given the fact that there are now a few variations of this product on the shelf this year, I would be inclined to believe they’ve been selling well (It is chocolate after all), or perhaps they’re simply happy to pour ‘God’ knows how much of whoever’s money into a failing enterprise for the sake of filling some impressionable child’s noggin with superstitious nonsense. Indeed, I’ve had images tweeted my way to show these packaged humpty dumpties, sitting tragically alone on the shelves, remaining long after the other non-indoctineggs have been snapped up. If anyone knows how to obtain sales figures on these tasty propagandeggs, I’d be pleased to have them shared my way.
The egg I’ll be taking a look at is the one shown in the image above. If you’ve picked up one of the other variations, please feel free to let me know of any differences in the comments below. I must say on a personal note, I was incredibly disappointed to discover the sticker set was absent this year. Arranging Jesus in imaginative positions amongst the other characters filled my entire Sunday last year. I’ll do my best to avoid egg puns, but I’m not promising anything.
The box implements the services of not one, but two sides to let you know they’re a charitable bunch:
So what are these wonderful charitable causes they are committed to helping? A predictably low amount of time spent Googling will lead you to the unsurprising ‘revelation’ that they are evangelical Christian organisations. Look at the Churches section on TRAIDCRAFT’s own website for example.
Now of course, a great number of religious people and organisations do fantastic charity work, and I would not wish to denigrate them for it. I would say however that there are also many secular charities committed to helping the less fortunate, and do so without an agenda to spread an ideology, or indoctrinate.
I personally would much rather my money go to organisations that are committed to helping, not for the sake of Jesus, but for the sake of doing good. This ethos is what I aim to promote with Good For Good’s Sake. Please bookmark and check back for a new fundraising drive for April 2014.
Below is the back of the packaging, providing us with a brief summary of a rather creative interpretation of why eggs represent easter…
Odd that they decided not to go with: ‘We stole it from the Pagans’ .
Wait. What’s that lurking under the chocolate buttons?
“Yay! A pamphlet” – No-one, ever.
I do have to be fair, this is an improvement given that last year they went with super-white Jesus. Middle Eastern Jesus doesn’t get a lot of work. Good for him.
Just incase you were considering not reading the pamphlet (you maverick), they’ve been sure to include a less avoidable religious message. They’ve really thought of everything. Well, except ‘am I massively delusional?’
Let’s take a look inside the ‘literature’ contained. Pay attention kids, there will be a quiz.
Page 1. ‘A True Story’. Are we good with that? Ok. Good, let’s proceed. ‘Many people wanted to listen to his teaching’. Now, I’m no theologian, but were I to ponder whether ‘many people’ wished to hear more from me, crucifixion seems more than a subtle indication.
Page 2: ‘…some people didn’t like him and wanted to get rid of him’. And by ‘some’ they mean ‘most’. It’s telling that those who got the closest look at Jesus were seemingly the least impressed. Nailed. Tough crowd.
I’ve got nothing.
1. D) Jesus has been riding on the credulity of Christians for 2000 years.
2.D) His hands. Hygiene is important kids.
3.D) Racist Jokes & poppers.
4.D) God. He does everything.
5.D) L’Oréal. He’s worth it.
6.D) Ha! Trick question! He’s alive in every one of us!
8.D) Because Chocolate.
Let’s take a look at the actual egg. I wonder if there are any deceased Jews inside? I decided to grab whatever was close to hand to break it in..
As suspected. Just like the box marked ‘supporting evidence for the resurrection’, it’s hollow.